If you’re active in AI or software development circles, you’ve probably heard about Jev in the last few weeks. It seems like everyone, myself included, is excited by the possibilities of Jev and the Jev-like models: fast, cheap, general decision making. Sometimes dozens or even hundreds of times cheaper and faster than an LLM like Claude, purportedly with the intelligence of a (lower-tier) frontier model. These models don’t output words, they output choices, with meaningful probabilities attached so you can understand how confident the model is in its choice. People are calling this new breed of model ‘decision models’. So naturally, I decided to ask Jev and its ilk to decide the Trolley Problem.